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Week 2 NFL Picks: Can You Learn To Score More?

Week 1 was full of passes. This week, I pass on being verbose in the interest of time.

752. That's how many points were scored in the first week of the NFL season. That's 167 points s'more than Week 1 in 2010 and the most by more than a hundred points each year since 2002.

The reason for all this exciting scoring has to be a result of the sudden increase in Ryan Gosling movies pass-first football. 10 teams attempted 40 or more passes in Week 1. Only two teams averaged over 40 passes per game last year. More passes equals less running plays and games dragging on, which equals more time to put up more points. Or, you know, more yards per play. However you look at it, it's science.

The incredible rise in pass attempts led to some pretty gaudy numbers, of course. In 2009, there were seven 400-yard passers in the entire season. Last week, there were four. The 933 combined passing yards in the first MNF game between Tom Brady (517) and Chad Henne (416) was an NFL record. It was just the seventh time in history that two QBs surpassed 400 yards in one game. Cam Newton's 422 yards passing tied a rookie record Matthew Stafford set in Week 11 of 2009. Even Ryan Fitzpatrick, from Harrrrrvard, threw four delectable touchdowns. 

Will Week 2 be a similar high scoring pass fest? We'll find out soon enough, but for now let's make haste with the picks (cue Michael Buffer). 

Reminder: All lines via

BILLS (-4.5) over Raiders

The Raiders are on a short week and I'm still Billieving. I've heard Buffalo tailgates are pretty sweet, too. Ryan Fitzpatrick throws another four touchdowns and subsequently signs an extension. 

LIONS (-7.5) over Chiefs

The Lions beat the Bucs handily on the road last weekend and they didn't even play all that well. I'm definitely not used to this with the Lions -- it's weird! -- but I'm not complaining. The Chiefs on the other hand were destroyed by the Bills at home.

Now, the Lions open their home schedule in front of an undoubtedly raucous crowd against the battered Chiefs, who were 2-6 on the road last year. Maybe I'm on crazy pills, but basic logic suggests that this pick is the easiest of the week. 

Ravens (-5.5) over TITANS

I don't think the Titans gave Chris Johnson a $53 million contract to only hand him the ball nine times a game, so I make this pick leery of him exploding in Week 2.

Browns (-2.5) over COLTS 

Who wants it less? 

Bears (+7.5) over SAINTS

I can't imagine the Saints starting 0-2, so that's why I think this pick will work out just fine. 

JETS (-9.5) over Jaguars

I thought the best QB for the Jets last week was Tony Romo. I loved how everyone was so focused on Romo's choke job that nobody had time to point out that the Sanchize needed a little bit of luck from Rex Ryan's lucky rabbit feet not to blow it all the same. Not even an unlucky Sanchez can blow this cupcake. 

STEELERS (-14.5) over Seahawks

Unforced rebound for Big Ben. 

Cardinals (+4.5) over REDSKINS

Rex Grossman is not Cam Newton.

Packers (-10.5) over PANTHERS

I actually had the Panthers covering, but my wife -- ugh, a Packers fan -- oversaw and forced me, sexually, to change it.

Bucs (+3.5) over VIKES 

A loss to the Lions isn't as demoralizing as it used to be.

Cowboys (-2.5) over 49ERS

Dez Bryant better play and he better produce, or I'm picking Ted Ginn Jr. to stand on the star the next time San Francisco travels to Dallas (if he's still around). 

Chargers (+7.5) over PATRIOTS

The Bill Belichick documentary is phenomenal and Wes Welker still doesn't know who Wally Pipp is. Doesn't Belichick look a little like pre 'Breaking Bad' Bryan Cranston in the above picture? No? Chargers win. 

Texans (-2.5) over DOLPHINS

This is the game where the Texans finally show they are for real. 

BRONCOS (-4.5) over Bengals 

This is the game where the Bengals remember they are supposed to be really, really, really bad this season. 

FALCONS (+1.5) over Eagles 

I was wrong about Julio Jones last week, but I'd like to take the difference of my prediction and what he did produce in Week 1 to be what he puts up here in Week 2. Matty Ice And Easy steals the stage from Vick.

GIANTS (-4.5) over Rams

I think I'd rather Travis Bickle my TV.

Last week: 8-8
Season: 8-8

Standings vs. Commenters (record.....GB): 

Me: (8-8-0.....)
Drew: (6-10-0.....2)