Earlier this week, an unnamed NFL GM -- maybe named Ted Thompson -- called the Lions' offense one-dimensional, their defensive line overhyped and Martin Mayhew and Jim Schwartz overrated. I'm crossing sports streams here, but there's an (in)appropriate GIF with a succinct and choice four-word response for that coward of a fake man [NSFSLR - not safe for sensitive lip readers]:
They shouldn't need it, but I hope the Lions are using that denigration as bulletin board material for Sunday (and ignoring other potential distractions). Perhaps unrelated, but Calvin Johnson says he and the other receivers are going to follow the Alice Cooper mantra from now on; I hope the rest of the team follows suit.
Anyway, here are my Week 6 picks, which are following up a very one-dimensional, overhyped and overrated Week 5:
Steelers (-5.5) over TITANS
I was right, but I was really wrong.
BUCS (-3.5) over Chiefs
A quality run defense against a team that must run in fear of relying too heavily on Matt Cassel or, even worse, Brady Quinn.
JETS (-3) over Colts
It's really hard to pick against "Chuckstrong" and even harder to do so in favor of Mark Sanchez, but I don't think the Jets' wheels fall entirely off quite yet.
Bengals (-1) over BROWNS
Raiders (+9.5) over FALCONS
I'm crazy. The Raiders have lost their last nine games after a bye week. They have lost their last two games against the Falcons -- albeit not recent -- by an average 24.5 points. On paper, this is the mismatch of the week. And yet, I feel like the Raiders are going to make the Falcons really work for that franchise-best 6-0 record.
Rams (+3.5) over DOLPHINS
Bills (+4.5) over CARDINALS
The Bills have allowed over 1200 yards passing the past two weeks. Luckily, they play the 25th-ranked Cards' "attack" this week. Circle 'em.
Patriots (-3.5) over SEAHAWKS
In 1994, Bill Belichick's Cleveland Browns took down Pete Carroll's New York Jets, 27-7.
Giants (+5) over 49ERS
The Giants coaching staff not only "proves its sole purpose is to use their high visibility to both criticize and influence officiating" but is also to coach a pretty competitive football team that has won a Super Bowl or two in recent memory.
Broncos (+1) over CHARGERS
Hey, DeMaryius, don't drop Tyke Tolbert's daughters!
Lions (+18) over EAGLES
Because the Lions are going to win, duh.
REDSKINS (+14) over Vikings
Because there's no way the Vikings start 5-1, duh.
Cowboys (+17.5) over RAVENS
If the Cowboys don't cover here, I'd really like for a cowboy to share the news with me.
Packers (+17.5) over TEXANS
I think the Texans have already sent a loud enough message to the rest of the league that they're for real. J.J. Watt's amazing, by the way: