Week 7 NFL Picks: Lions Aren't Only Ones 'Shaking' Off Their First Losing Week

I guess it's no coincidence that my first losing week (6-7) comes the same week I pick against the Lions (and they lose). I'm not doing that ever again. 

(A quick aside on last week's coaching quarrel between Jim Schwartz and Jim Harbaugh -- or, really, Schwartz taking exception to Harbaugh's aggressive handshake: The difference between an emphatic fist pump near your own sideline, like Schwartz has done, is a whole lot different than blatant in-your-face, 'House of Pain' aha-ing, capped off with a five star. And nobody wants to see your belly button, Jim Harbaugh.)

I digress with some picks of the nose and then these: 

BROWNS (-3.5) over Seahawks 

 Mike Holmgren faces his old team in the Dawg Pound after a week of soothing and basically saying that he'll go out and sign Donovan McNabb if Colt McCoy doesn't start playing better (not really, but that'd be a good kick in the arse).

LIONS (-4.5) over Falcons

There will be no falconry this week at Ford Field. In fact, it's possible Michael Turner has 10-times less rushing yards this week than he had in Week 1 of 2008. And Matt Ryan may want to retire before taking another snap against the Lions. I hope. 

Texans (+3.5) over TITANS

Still no Andre Johnson for the Texans, but Kevin Walter is going to show up and show off how big of a gym rat he is. 

DOLPHINS (-2.5) over Broncos

Tim Tebow, please don't strike me down. 

Chargers (+0.5) over JETS

Michael Irvin is trying to ruin this pick by saying that Mark Sanchez could wind up benched before the end of the game, but I'm sticking to it. LT starting against his old team isn't going to miraculously open holes. The Chargers, 5-1 before November!

BUCS (-0.5) over Bears

This pick if brought to you by Death Row, look how it rise.

PANTHERS (-3.5) over Redskins 

This pick is brought to you by John Beck: 

Steelers (-3.5) over CARDINALS

This is the week when the Cardinals finally start to wonder if Kevin Kolb was their savior. 

RAIDERS (-3.5) over Chiefs

Carson Palmer's a hero!

COWBOYS (-10.5) over Rams 

I wanted to pick Rams, but Sam Bradford has been ruled out. A.J. Feeley is not a hero. 

Packers (-8.5) over VIKINGS

Did you know the Arizona streaker is a Vikings fan? And he's seriously mentally challenged -- don't be fooled by his use of "conjured."

Colts (+14.5) over SAINTS 

Curtis Painter is going to avenge the Colts' Super Bowl XLIV loss, by covering the spread. 

JAGS (+8.5) over Ravens 

Prime time really factors into my picks for no reason whatsoever. 

Bye week over Bills, Bengals, Patriots, Giants, Eagles, 49ers

Last week: 6-7

Season ATS: 52-38

Standings vs. commenter(s), my brother (W-L ... GB):

ME: 52-38 ... -
D.P.: 50-40 ... 2 GB (6-7 last week)