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Jared Allen Should Go Back To His Shanty

Minnesota Vikings defensive end Jared Allen, this trashy looking guy, fulfilled his own personal annual quota of bashing the city of Detroit before playing the Lions by calling it gloomy and suggesting he'd commit suicide by drowning himself in the river if he ever had to live there. (Quick aside: Drowning yourself is nearly impossible, so why not just get drunk and get behind the wheel again, tough guy?)

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Allen's comments drew the ire of Lions defensive coordinator Gunther Cunningham, who responded with some real talk

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"He’s not good enough to live here," Cunningham said today. "I know him well, he should go back to California, Los Gatos, where all those nice people live. This is too tough of a town for him." [...]

↵"If I were him though, in the streets I’ve driven down, I’ve made some wrong turns in town and for me, I got stopped one day and I looked out the window and they all yelled, ‘Hey Coach. How are you?’ I went out and signed autographs. Jared, if you come to town, good luck. You’re not going to get to sign autographs."
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Yeah, good luck, and come back soon if we miss you