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Week 17 NFL Picks: Happy New Picks

Happy New Year, everyone -- here are some Week 17 picks.

Congratulations, it's a new year and everyone is undefeated. May your new year picks bring you the utmost happiness.

This is the last week of the season (13 of 16 games having an impact on the playoff picture), but we'll be back with NFL playoff picks which are a lot harder and far more embarrassing when wrong. I was 9-7 last week despite not putting them up for public humiliation, so you'll just have to rely on that relationship we've built based on trust. On PoolTracker, I'm ranked 103 of 1,000 and hoping to crack the top 100 for a bunch of moral prizes.

To the newest picks [noisemakers]

Lions (-3.5) over PACKERS

Packers are resting everyone because they don't believe in rustiness. The last time the Lions played the Packers without Aaron Rodgers for most of the game, the Lions won 7-3. I'm guessing this one will be 27-23.

JAGUARS (-4.5) over Colts

Colts have worked way too hard this season for the No. 1 pick to throw it all away in Week 17.

Titans (-2.5) over TEXANS

The Texans must hate the Jets as much as I do -- they're resting Pro Bowlers Arian Foster and Johnathan Joseph, and Owen Daniels.

RAMS (+10.5) over 49ers

I don't think the Rams want the No. 1 pick as much as the Colts do and I'm basing this pick off how well the Rams played the Saints earlier this season at the Ed Jones Dome. A 49ers loss, Saints win, Lions loss and Falcons win sets up a Schwartz-Harbaugh rematch in Round 1, too (although I think/hope that will not happen).

Jets (+1.5) over DOLPHINS

Why on earth would the Dolphins be favored in this game? Reggie Bush is out and the linemen have been playing with their segways all week.

VIKINGS (pick) over Bears

WHO CARES?????

Bills (+12.5) over PATRIOTS

Toooo high.

Panthers (+9.5) over SAINTS

Cam Newton carries the Panthers into the Against the Spread playoffs with a cover today.

EAGLES (-9.5) over Redskins

WHO CARES???????

CARDINALS (-3.5) over Seahawks

WHO CARES?????

RAIDERS (-3.5) over Chargers

Lions demoralized the Chargers last week and Norv Turner has checked out.

BRONCOS (-3.5) over Chiefs

Tebow in the playoffs.

FALCONS (-13.5) over Bucs

Falcons aren't going to back into that six seed.

BENGALS (+2.5) over Ravens

Ray Lewis is back, but, but, but I hate this pick.

BROWNS (+7.5) over Steelers

Oh, this one is worse, but Browns played the Steelers well in Pittsburgh, so why can't they beat cover hobbled Big Ben in the Dawg Pound?

GIANTS (-1.5) over Cowboys

Tony Romo's "hand injury" lost a fantasy championship last week and this week he may lose his job.

Last week: 9-7

Season ATS: 131-109

Standings vs. commenter(s), my brother (W-L ... GB):

ME: 131-109 ... --
D.P.: 129-111 ... 3 GB (7-9 last week)